Friday, June 19th, 2009...6:00 pm
How does the prologue of my story sound?
I asked this before and i revised it a little. I did find it difficult to cut it down though. This time, if you think it is too wordy, I would like you to please identify the lines that you think could be cut out. What do you think of it?
Do you ever get bored in school? Do you ever sit there in class wishing that something would happen?
Daydreams?
Mine usually involved high speed pursuits in top of the range cars with a fit girl in the passenger seat.
Sometimes robots would get involved … sometimes aliens
But the thing is with aliens, you never know what to expect. Robots and cars are one thing, just circuit boards and metal and bits of plastic thrown in here and there but, aliens?
They’re tricky little buggers. Little buggers made up of god knows what with thoughts and dreams, fears and desires.
And sometimes,
they’re not
that
little.
Are they real? Is the truth really out there? And if so, are they like us? Or, are they different?
Faster? … Smarter? … Stronger?
Maybe even superior to us?
And if they are, what would they do with us? Would they like us? Help us to understand more than we already do?
No?
See us as a threat and wipe us out?
Enslave us?
Hunt us down for fun?
There’s a whole universe of possibilities when we talk of aliens.
Think about these questions in a maths lesson on a Friday afternoon in school and you’ve got an adventure brewing in your head, like a storm.
And on that particular Friday afternoon, at Burton College, during that
unforgettable
maths lesson, a storm was definitely brewing.
Overhead, in the clouds. And it was just a matter of time before that storm,
hit
Agnes
The awesome job mann.
uh, why are we reading this? im sorry but i’m just not hooked, like why would anyone KEEP reading, there is nothing in here that would draw people in.
i mean why would anyone care about a guy’s daydreams?
sounds good!