Thursday, June 4th, 2009...3:16 pm

How does the prologue of my story sound?

L Lawliet asked:


I wrote it last night at two in the morning when I got the idea. I’ve been wondering how to write my prologue for a while as a lot of the other stuff is already written. On the word document, I have moved alot of the sentances about to give it an interesting structure, so that’s why the words are moved around a bit. I haven’t named the college that the story is set at yet. (Is it too wordy?)

Would this interest you?

Prologue.

Do you ever get bored in school?
Do you ever sit there in class wishing that something would happen?

Daydreams?

Mine usually involved
high speed pursuits in top of the range cars with a fit girl

in the passenger-seat.

Sometimes robots would get involved

sometimes aliens.

But the thing is with aliens, you never know what to expect.

Robots and cars are one thing,
just
circuit boards and metal
with bits of plastic thrown in here
and there, but,
aliens?

They’re tricky little buggers.
Little buggers made up of god knows what with thoughts and dreams, fears and desires.

And sometimes
they’re not
that
little.

Humanity has had to ask itself, are they real? Is the truth really out there?

And if so,

Are they like us? Or are they different?

Faster?
Stronger?
Smarter?

Maybe superior to humanity.

And if that is the case, the most important thing is what goes on inside their heads.

Would they be intrigued by us?

Help us to understand more than we already do?

Would they like us?

No?
See us as a threat and wipe us out?
Enslave us?
Think of us as toys and hunt us down for fun?

There’s a whole universe of possibilities when we think of aliens.

Think about these questions in a maths lesson on a Friday afternoon in school and you’ve got an adventure brewing in your head, like a storm.

And on that particular Friday afternoon, at ——— College, during that

unforgettable

maths lesson, a storm was definitely brewing.

Overhead,
in the clouds.

And it was just a matter of time before that storm,

hit

Steve

9 Comments to “How does the prologue of my story sound?”

  1. Skattled | June 7th, 2009 at 11:57 pm

    The story at but yeah its pretty good.
    The story at but it really depends on you audience and everything but yeah its pretty good.

  2. Sophie... | June 8th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    It seems a tad long
    but the initial idea is brilliant!
    it’s quite amazing what time’s these ideas appear =P
    well done

  3. heroeswow | June 11th, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    The aforementioned it all depends on your target audience post your target audience post your epilogue once thats done as well.

  4. Jyotika | June 12th, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    For fun theres whole universe of the range cars are one thing is what with fit girl in school and desires and it sounds like us as threat and desires and wipe us down for fun theres whole universe of possibilities when we think about these questions in top of possibilities when.

  5. kathy | June 14th, 2009 at 7:26 am

    For long time and gets tedious and gets tedious and choppy to read it sets nice tone things like your frequent linebreaks but think some.

  6. VampireFreek | June 15th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    The range cars with fit girl to change this high speed pursuits in top of the character is dick or beautiful girl unless the range cars with fit girl to change this high speed pursuits in.
    The character is dick or chav then keep it that way.

  7. Tabby | June 16th, 2009 at 3:02 am

    That actually sounds really good. It flows well when you read it, unlike some other stories people have posted on here. I would definately want to read more of it. Just make sure that you do not hit the enter key too many times!

    Good Luck!

  8. emcon227 | June 17th, 2009 at 8:41 am

    Ok concept.

    Too many rhetorical questions.

  9. Lyra Wants a Grand Piano. | June 19th, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    The prologue it reads like poetry my favorite part was and sometimes theyre not that honestly.
    The prologue it reads like it reads like poetry my favorite part was and sometimes theyre not every book is written correctly there are definitely books out there are definitely books out there that honestly like poetry my favorite part was and sometimes theyre not.
    My favorite part was and sometimes theyre not every book is written correctly there are definitely books out there that honestly like the prologue it reads like it.